If You Want To Keep Your Job, Then Better Get Only The Best Fake Pee

Okay. Even I do admit that the title sounds a little too peculiar this time. Like, who in the world would combine job, best, and fake pee in one sentence? Yes, I’m probably the only one who would do that – but it’s for good reason, you know!

Cutting to the chase, work involves more than just skill and educational attainment. It requires character, discipline, and good work ethics. In fact, in the competitive labor industry of today, I believe the latter three are deemed more important than the first two attributes I mentioned. After all, skill is something you can acquire and grades are not definite representations of intelligence. But when it comes to character, discipline, and work ethic? These three are unique to every individual. These are very difficult – if not impossible – to teach.

This is especially true when it comes to discipline.

Following the dress code, observing proper behaviour in the office, being punctual, and maintaining your work performance are a few things that show how much you value discipline. Of course, there’s also the rule book to follow – each one unique to a company’s beliefs and culture. Despite the differences in every company’s rule book however, there are also similarities. For example, there are bound to be rules about drug usage. As far as I know, there is no such company that would allow employees to go to work under the influence of any substance – be it alcohol, cannabis, or something else entirely. Read more about it here: http://www.datia.org/datia-resources/27-credentialing/cpc-and-cpct/931-workplace-drug-testing.html.

In order to make sure that every employee who works for the company follows this rule closely, many establishments are compelled to administer regular drug tests. They simply want to make sure that everyone who works for their company are staying true to their culture and highly-valued beliefs. They simply want to monitor how well employees are abiding by company rules and policies.

Still, I know many of you feel that these drug tests bring a lot of hassle and fright. This goes for both users and non-users, past users and present ones. I guess no matter the situation, people are less likely to favour activities that catch them by surprise. It can really make you grab the edge of your seat.

Because I am in no position (or mood) to lecture you about what you should and should not be doing, I’d rather just present you with a “solution.” Yes, a solution that may very well help you brave through every other drug test that will come your way in the future. And as ridiculous as it sounds, this great solution has a “not-so-great” name: Synthetic Urine.

Yep, that’s fake pee alright! This seemingly ludicrous suggestion is something you’d really want to hear about. Here’s why:

What You Should Know About Drug Tests 

Drug test are often done intermittently and randomly. This is why many employees have a hard time trying to get around them. However, if you’re really observant about it, you will notice that there’s a pattern to how these tests are administered. It can be quarterly, bi-annually, or if the budget’s low – maybe just once per year. If you figure out when your company is most likely going to conduct these tests, you’ll have a better chance of preparing for it. Another important thing to familiarize is the type of test your company is fond of administering. Typically, we have four types of drug tests:

Urine Test

This type of test is one of the most common. Most companies administer urine test because it’s fast, effective, and cheap too. This test looks for traces of prohibited drugs in the urine. More often than not, drug traces can be found in bodily fluids (read more).

Saliva Test

As mentioned in the previous paragraph, traces of illegal substances are often found in bodily fluids. This includes the saliva as well. Saliva tests are trickier to pass but there are ways to go around it especially with the technology we have now.

Blood Test

Of all tests, the blood test is next to impossible to pass – especially if you’re guilty of using drugs on a regular basis. Traces of the substance may stay in person’s blood flow for a long time. This can range from a few days to a month depending on the user’s body. While there are ways to expel the substance from your body faster, it still takes time. Also, faking it is not exactly an option you can take since blood is drawn from your body by a clinician and directly passed on for testing. However, blood tests are way more expensive and companies with higher employee counts will try to avoid incurring such high costs.

Hair Follicle Test

This is a more recent test developed to test drug positivity. Drug traces are said to be deposited longer in hair follicles which makes the hair follicle test a more efficient way to catch users in the act. But like the blood test, it also relatively costs higher than other types of test which makes it less likely for big companies to use. Also, there are now hair follicle shampoos in the market that can help you remove traces of drugs in your hair ducts.

What Now?

Now that you know the different types of test, you should understand the risks of using fake urine. Since not all tests are urine tests, you can take more meaningful actions to help you pass each kind. For big companies, administering urine tests is a high possibility, typically because it is fast and effective. But just to be safe, you have to prepare for the other tests as well and count on your lucky stars that it won’t be a blood test. For urine tests, you can make use of synthetic urine to pass with flying colors.

Synthetic urine or fake pee is a chemical solution that contains all the properties of actual urine. It usually comes in powder form and reacts when diluted to water. Having a packet in your pocket will definitely save you during surprise and random drug tests.

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